A Blessed Journey

We had been waiting anxiously for any sign of baby.  The day before his due date, he let me know that today was the day.  I was ready.  I felt as prepared as I could be for this experience.  I had bloody show and started feeling pain with my contractions around 3am, just like all my other babies.  These contractions were definitely painful and strong, unlike the painless ones I have all throughout my pregnancies.  I got excited!  And I started practicing getting through them with different techniques I had studied.  I knew they would just get harder and harder, so I was glad to start practicing.  Unsure exactly what to do, we decided to send Jaxton to school and go about our day normally, that way I would not be focusing on the pain all day, rather, I would be focusing on the kids and our normal daily routines.  So by the time Jaxton came home from school at noon, we had arranged with Nate's dad to take the kids.  We packed up our bags and headed up to Kendallville and spent a couple hours at their house.  It is amazing how my mental state changed the way I was able to deal with the contractions.  I remember with Kaylee I wanted my pain medicine, so the contractions were just absolutely horrible!  But this time, my goal was different, so I was able to manage the pain.  I figured out how to internalize the pain.  I just turned inward.  I had to close my eyes and almost "look at" the pain and when I did that, it was bearable.  And it was pretty amazing how I felt in between contractions.  I felt amazing!  We stopped in at a small market in Kendallville thinking we'd walk around a little bit and I felt great.  I wanted to go walking around to pass the time.  But when a contraction came, I couldn't move, couldn't talk, probably looked ridiculous in the store.  We decided to not walk around after that.  But it was amazing how good I felt in between the contractions, like I could go and do anything!  Stephanie called it a state of euphoria in between contractions.  It truly was like that.  And its amazing that the body allows that break in between, its like a gift during such a difficult experience.  The human body is truly amazing. 

The contractions were getting harder and harder, stronger, and more painful.  So at that point, we called Stephanie, our certified nurse midwife and she met us over at the birthing center.  So we arrived at the Auburn Birthing Center around 4pm.  Nate and I were the only ones there with Stephanie and a nurse named Melissa.  The Birthing Center is set up just like a little house with a kitchen, living room, and three bedrooms.  It was such a cozy little place all decorated so neatly.  And it was quiet and peaceful.  The first thing Stephanie did was start the bread machine.  We'd smell the sweet aroma of homemade bread for the next several hours and by the time baby was here, we'd have delicious bread hot and ready to eat.  Stephanie checked me and asked what I thought I was dilated to after laboring all day.  I didn't want to be disappointed, so I suggested that I was hopefully a 3 or 4?  She said I was dilated to 8!  Wow!  I couldn't believe it!  I was afraid that all the pain I had had was not quite at its worst, but it really had been working my body all day!  I was so happy.  I knew my baby would be here in a matter of hours.  I got my dose of anitbiotics for Group B Strep and went walking around the place for a while.  Walking got hard, so Nate and I sat down in the recliners together and watched "What About Bob."  I felt like just relaxing like normal with Nate watching a movie rather than do any of the other things I had planned and prepared to do, like play relaxing music or manage the pain in different positions.  Rather, I just wanted to relax like things were normal.  At 6pm Stephanie checked me again and I was about a 9 and a half.  I had her break my water and then things sped up.  The pain was intense and I could tell things were happening inside my body.  Everyone has told me that water and the bouyancy of water in the tub helps to ease the pain and take the edge off.  So I thought, why not?  If its going to help take the edge off this pain, then I will definitely spend some time in the tub.  With the jacuzzi jets on, I felt like I was being massaged at the same time I was contracting, and so yes, it helped take the focus off the pain because my body was also feeling massaged!  It was helpful.  But all too soon, I felt tons of pressure.  Baby was coming.  And I had no desire to get out of the water at this point!  We would have a waterbirth...

Now this was the part that I was not fully prepared for.  I knew the pushing stage would be short for me, as it has been with all my babies.  I felt that pressure and I wasn't sure what to do!  I asked Stephanie whether I should start pushing or wait, and how would they know to be ready to get down by me to catch baby?  She said to push when I felt that urge to push and that she would know when to get down and ready by the tone of my voice.  By the tone of my voice?  What did she mean?  And then I knew.  This pain, I was not prepared for.  I had prepared well for the contractions, but this last 5 minutes was hardly bearable.  I could feel my body stretch and Stephanie helped me with encouragement and kind direction as I endured the intensity of the pain.  I knew it would only be a matter of minutes and so I just went for it and pushed as hard as I could so that baby would be here as fast as possible!  That was my motivation.  I just wanted him out and to be done!  And within a couple of minutes, it was all over, and he was here!  

Passing from water inside me to water outside me was very peaceful for him.  He did not even cry.  He was warm in the water and Stephanie just raised his little head out of the water, wrapped him in a towel in the warm water and placed him in my arms.  His eyes were closed and he was so peaceful there in my arms.  I never thought that a "waterbirth" would be beautiful or peaceful, let alone clean.  However, there was no blood in the water, just baby.  And seeing my peaceful baby, not stressed by the cold air, and comfortable in the warmth of the water and my arms, it was indeed a beautiful, peaceful waterbirth.  

I climbed out of the tub and Nate was able to cut the cord.  Baby continued to be totally at peace, no crying at all.  These were beautiful moments. 

 Nate was wonderful the entire time.  All week, he would ask me how I felt.  He had a hard time going to work, and spent a whole lot of time at home, just wondering if "today would be the day."  Both of us were kind of putting life on hold and he especially was just excited for this day.  He supported me through my contractions by just simply holding my hand, helping my hand to relax and not tense up.  That was his main role.  If my hand began to get tense, he'd help to shake it out, remind me to not get tense.  He was with me throughout the experience, making me as comfortable as possible and giving me encouragement and compliments.  I'm glad that he and I had the same goal, to allow my body to give birth the way my body was meant to do.  He knew I could do it, and that gave me further confidence that I could.  He was amazing.  And now he is a very proud new daddy again!